The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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