AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
