Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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