I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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