I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
