she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
