it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
