He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Nicole vs. Life
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
