dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
