How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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