Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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