I heard we made out
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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