Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
