okay pat passed out under dana's car
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
