Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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