Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
