lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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