I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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