Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
