you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Small penises have feelings too.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
