I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I need to calm my uterus...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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