Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
zippers are such a cool invention
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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