some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
