I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
