It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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