Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
