Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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