Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
