I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
