evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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