I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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