Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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