And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
