Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
