Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
