I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
