You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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