i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
