I must be too annoying 4 u.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
