when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
