the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
