My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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