I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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