I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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