dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
