So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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