yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
