Do you still have your period?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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