Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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