What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize