Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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