I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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