You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
