I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
