Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
