I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
